The blog of Michael K.
So Hardee's, the fast food chain so aware of its low-rent public perception that its commercials basically crow "you knew we sucked, we knew we sucked, everyone knew we sucked-sucked, but now we're actually almost mediocre", has announced plans to sell a nearly 1,500 calorie, 2/3 pound "Monster Thickburger", complete with four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and a buttered roll. Yummy, right? I can feel my arteries hardening just reading about it. Then again if you think it's about the food, you're wrong - it's not, it's about carving out a niche as the burger place for "young, hungry guys", presumably the ones who have gotten bored with the Atkins-inspired lettuce-wrapped Thickburger. The defiant tone Hardee's CEO Andrew Puzder takes against those nasty "tree-huggers" is touching; down with the limp-wristed, effete health advocates and communist dieticians who've been keeping the cause of "big, juicy, delicious, decadent burgers" down!
The good news is, the idiots who eat these things will be self-selecting themselves into an early grave, leaving more room for the rest of us. Unfortunately, I suppose that all our insurance premiums are going to go up, paying for their fat, grease-sweating, cheese-choking red-state asses.
(Can I also mention how precious the Hardee's website is? Rather than give them any more hits, I'll just note that the flash ad for this new Thickburger features a couple "thunderclap" sounds that sound more like car bombs going off beside the Green Zone, a couple weak stroboscopic flashes of burger, and that tired old overused metaslogan - "Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid." I'm afraid it sucks mightily. Aren't their web designers even trying?)
The good news is, the idiots who eat these things will be self-selecting themselves into an early grave, leaving more room for the rest of us. Unfortunately, I suppose that all our insurance premiums are going to go up, paying for their fat, grease-sweating, cheese-choking red-state asses.
(Can I also mention how precious the Hardee's website is? Rather than give them any more hits, I'll just note that the flash ad for this new Thickburger features a couple "thunderclap" sounds that sound more like car bombs going off beside the Green Zone, a couple weak stroboscopic flashes of burger, and that tired old overused metaslogan - "Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid." I'm afraid it sucks mightily. Aren't their web designers even trying?)
About me
- Michael K.
- Observing the things in my personal cosmos: music of a catchy sort, soccer, hockey and other sports, theories of place, media and culture, academic life, history, nature, politics, the international, the parochial. You never know what you might get. For generosity of the spirit.
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